The Truth is Hyrule
by Vampiric Hyde
Summary: X-files meets Zelda, OoT. Oo John and Monica's new assignment is to find Fox and Scully, who have been trapped in the land of Hyrule... Scene 8 minus 1. Introducing Krycek and Billy! hugs them Getting more people (and a hybrid) into Zelda-land, whoo.
1. Scene 1

The Truth is Hyrule 

A/N: I don't own X-files, nor do I own Zelda,or whatever is affiliated with either. *sigh* Ah well, I'll live. Oh, and... I'm not crazy... really... 

SCENE 1

(Open on JOHN DOGGET'S office. DOGGETT is standing beside his desk and continually glances at the door. MONICA RHEAS is sitting in the chair, looking over a file. Both are dressed in the typical business suits.)

MONICA. This is so amazing! I can't believe they did this!

DOGGETT. (Not interested) Did what?

MONICA. (Smiles seductively) Why don't you come over here and see?

DOGGETT. (Raises eyebrow) I think I'll pass.

MONICA. No, really. I want you to. (winks)

DOGGETT. (Sick look on his face) I'll pass.

MONICA. (Shrugs) Your loss.

(They continue as they were for a few minutes, before DOGGET'S cell phone rings)

MONICA. (Jumps up) I'll get it!

DOGGETT. (Takes out the phone rapidly) John Doggett.

KERSH: (In phone) Get down to the lab at once, Agent. Take Monica with you.

DOGGETT. (Uneasily) Uh, sir, couldn't she stay here?

KERSH. (In phone) You're problem, not mine. Just get down there.

DOGGET. (Puts the phone away) We have to go to the lab (Grimaces) Together.

MONICA. (Smiling) All right.

(They walk out, DOGGETT straying from MONICA, MONICA walking as close to DOGGETT as possible)

MONICA. So why would they want us in the lab, anyway?

DOGGETT. (Moving away) I dunno. Seems damn strange to me.

MONICA. (Moves closer) Yeah

(They continue on, eventually reaching the lab and walking in. There they find a tall man in a lab coat, apparently a scientist.)

SCIENTIST. (Waves) Hello. I assume Kersh sent you here.

DOGGETT. Yeah, that's right.

MONICA. Sent US here.

SCIENTIST. (Freaked out by Monica) Okay Anyway, we need you to go after a man who slipped into an experiment. Actually, there were two, as far as we can tell. Fox Mulder and Dana Scully.

DOGGETT. (Confused) I thought they quit

SCIENTIST. So did I.

MONICA. Well, I didn't. The told me so.

(The two men look at her and shrug.)

SCIENTIST. The point here is that they're gone. 

DOGGETT. Where?

SCIENTIST. It'll sound strange, but

DOGGETT. Try me.

MONICA. (Hopeful) Can I?

(DOGGETT and the SCIENTIST both ignore her)

SCIENTIST. They went through a sort of transporter Now they're in a different world. (Looks at them) You two aren't freaking out.

DOGGETT. (Shrugs) I choose to pretend this is all a dream.

MONICA. Yeah, uh, I do what he does.

SCIENTIST. Right. Anyway, we're sending you in. It's a fast process, and once you're there, call us with this. (Hands DOGGETT a phone)

DOGGETT. (Doubtful) A phone?

SCIENTIST. Yeah that's just what it looks like. Anyway

MONICA. (Pouting) Don't I get one?

SCIETIST. No. Once you get there, you might want to change clothes (Hands them each a bundle of clothing) Then look for them. No one has a clue where they are, but you'll figure it out.

DOGGETT. Okay where exactly are we going?

SCIENTIST. I don't know Mulder and Scully were the first to go.

DOGGETT. I see so you're sending us on a blind mission?

SCIENTIST. Hey, don't blame me. Kersh's orders.

DOGGETT. Of course. (Mutters something under his breath)

SCIENTIST. What was that?

DOGGETT. Nothing.

MONICA. Yes it was! He said

DOGGETT. Shut up.

MONICA. (Obliging) Yes sir.

SCIENTIST. All right, lets get you going.

(SCIENTIST leads DOGGETT and MONICA to two large machines that resemble cardboard boxes. They each walk into one, after MONICA tries to get into DOGGETT'S.)

SCIENTIST. Have fun.

(SCIENTIST pushes a red button. There is a flash of light, and the boxes disappear.)

KERSH. (From the background) Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!

(Cue X-files theme music.)


	2. Scene 2

A/N: Yay next scene. ;) Thanks much to people who reviewed, individual thanks at the bottom. Again, I don't own any of this... And I'm not crazy. Not as far as anyone knows... O_o

SCENE 2

(Setting is now an old-looking village. Colorful houses are scattered about, and many people in funky-looking clothing are milling around. DOGGETT and MONICA appear in a flash of light. No one notices.)

DOGGETT. What the?

MONICA. Where are we?

(DOGGETT turns to a sign that has the words 'KararikoVillage' written in black lettering.)

DOGGETT. Karariko? 

MONICA. Oh, Karariko.

DOGGET. Do you have any idea what that means?

MONICA. (Indignently) Maybe.

DOGGETT. Uh-huh

(Two twins, one in a blue shirt, one in a red, are standing nearby. You know the twins?)

TWIN 1. Who do they think they are, dressed like that?

TWIN 2. Oh ho ho.

MONICA. I think he called me a

DOGGETT. Good for him. (Yells out) Congratulations!

(TWIN 1 and TWIN 2 give DOGGETT weird looks) 

TWIN 1. No wonder they're dressed like that.

TWIN 2. Oh ho ho.

MONICA. He's doing it again!

DOGGETT. (Rolls eyes) I noticed. 

MONICA. Make him stop!

DOGGETT. I don't think you understand what he's saying

MONICA. (Sobbing) Yes I Do

DOGGETT. (Glares) Shut up. Let's change clothes before anyone else sees us.

MONICA. (Eagerly) Okay, sure!

DOGGETT. All right, you go find somewhere to change, and we'll meet back here. 

MONICA. Can't I go with you?

DOGGETT. (Walks away, shaking his head) No!

MONICA. Damn

(Monica walks around, trying to find a place to change. Finally, she spots the windmill on the hill, and dashes in, slamming the door behind her. Without checking, she begins to change, without noticing a strange man in a shorts and a shirt with an instrument watching. His name is GURU-GURU.)

MONICA. (Having finished changing. She is dressed in a ranch-type purple dress, al la Malon or Romani or Cremia etc. She drops her other clothes onto the floor) All right

GURU-GURU. Hey there, beautiful!

MONICA. (Looks angry at first, then smiles) Hello. Care to get a drink?

GURU-GURU. Uhhhhhhh

MONICA. (Looks ticked) Well, fine, then. (Stomps out, leaving GURU-GURU.)

GURU-GURU. (Confused) What? What did I do?

(Meanwhile, DOGGETT had entered an old, creepy-looking house filled with spider webs. After looking around for a moment and seeing nothing, he changes. His clothing now includes black pants, a white shirt, and a green vest, al la the man in the potion shop.)

DOGGETT. (Looks at the clothes) Ehhhhh (Tosses the suit in a box) This don't feel right

(DOGGETT backs up, and a spider that has humanish eyes pops down form the ceiling)

DOGGETT. (Freaked out) What in the?

SPIDER. Yearggggggggggggghhhhhh! I'm cursed!

DOGGETT. Ehhh (Eyes widening) Get away! 

SPIDER. Yeargggggggggggggggggghhhhh, I'm cursed!

DOGGETT. You said that!

(DOGGETT backs up, running into another SPIDER)

SPIDER 2. Yearggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm cursed!

DOGGETT. You too

(More SPIDERS continue to drop down)

SPIDER 3. Yearggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm cursed!

SPIDER 4. Yearggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh! I'm cursed!

DOGGETT. (Looking around confused) Get me outta here!

(DOGGETT runs out and finds MONICA waiting where they split)

MONICA. Don't you just love this?

DOGGETT. Actually no. Not at all.

MONICA. (Whining) Why not?

DOGGETT. (Automatically) Yearggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm cursed!

MONICA. (Shrieks) Ahhhhhhhhhh! You're possessed!

DOGGETT. (Shakes head) No, I'm cursed.

MONICA. (Backs away) Stay away from me!

DOGGETT. (Grins broadly) No problem.

(End Scene 2)

----------------------

So that's sceen two... Many, many thansk to the peoples who were benevolent and reviewed...

anthiboy - Yah, when I started this I was afraid of Monica... Oh wait, I still am. O_o Oh well...

Juliet - Chipper 'tis a cool word. :) *will probably use it for the rest of the day, now* Yay!

MysticSorceror - Glad ya like. Yay, sure I'll add ya too my list... Will do so as soon as I get get it up. Right now my comp's being a bit evil... *smacks the computer* Just FYI, my MSN address, and the e-mail I use, is maladroit_hybrid@hotmail.com. Hope to get it working... Bad computer, bad.

Thank again!


	3. Scene 3

A/N: Yet again, I don't own hese places, people, etcetra... But you knew that.

SCENE 3

(Open on DOGGETT and MONICA standing by the CHICKEN GIRL)

DOGGETT. So do you have any idea where we're supposed to find the agents?

MONICA. (points to CHICKEN GIRL) Why don't we ask her?

DOGGETT. (shrugs) Why not. (Turns towards the CHICKEN GIRL) Have you seen a man and a woman around here?

CHICKEN GIRL. No.

DOGGETT. Don't start shittin' me

CHICKEN GIRL. Did you mean human?

DOGGETT. What else WOULD I be talking about?

CHICKEN GIRL. (nervous) We just don't have humans and

MONICA. Let me handle this.

DOGGETT. (nods tiredly) Sure. Why not?

MONICA. (shoves past DOGGETT, grinning as she does so) Hello. How are the chickens?

CHICKEN GIRL. (nods to the chickens in the fenced-in area with a shudder) Disgusting.

MONICA. Oh, I agree. I don't know how anyone can stand to touch them.

CHICKEN GIRL. You too? (happily) I thought I was the only one.

MONCIA. Oh no, don't feel that way, girl!

CHICKEN GIRL. I never knew.

MONICA. Yeah, now you do.

DOGGETT. (groaning) Can you ask her the frickin' question?

MONICA. We're getting there

(The talking continues for another hour or so. Eventually, MONICA motions to the village with a sweep of her arm)

MONICA. Have you see two people? Their names are Dana Scully and Fox Mulder. 

CHICKEN GIRL. The names don't really ring any bells.

MONICA. Hmmmm (considers for a moment) Scully has red hair. Mulder has a big nose

CHICKEN GIRL. Oh, the man with the big nose!

MONICA. (excited) Yeah, yeah! Hey, John, she (turns to find DOGGETT asleep against a tree) Hey! JOHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

DOGGETT. (jumps up sleepily) Don't (his voice clears up slightly) Don't call me John.

MONICA. Whatever. She says she saw Mulder and Scully.

DOGGETT. (immediately interested) Where?

CHICKEN GIRL. (points to the entrance to the town) They went out to Hyrule Field.

DOGGETT. Hyrule Field?

CHICKEN GIRL. You've never been?

MONICA. Honestly, you need to get out more.

DOGGETT. (glares at MONICA) Whatever. Let's get outta here.

MONICA. All right John.

DOGGETT. (glares again, than grins and moves a step towards the women) Yearggggghhhhh! I'm cursed!!!!!!!!!

CHICKEN GIRL. (her hands fly up to her mouth) Goodness!

MONICA. All right, all right I'll go. 

DOGGETT. Come on.

(They head away from CHICKEN GIRL. MONICA strays slightly from DOGGETT, who smiles profusely)

--------------

Thanks much to the readers!!!

Loca- I hope that they'll battle with Gonnodorf eventually... There'll be some... disturbing shit leading up to it, though. O_o 

Stephanie- Glad to please four o' the voices... There's always that pesky one, though. ;) All hail the voices.

BogusJourney- Many thanks! :)

_Thankee-sais_...


	4. Scene 4

A/N Bad, bad me... I've been really, _really_ busy and haven't had time to update this. Eep. Anyway, here's some more... Again, I don't anything that I don't own... You know what I mean. Merp.

SCENE 4

(DOGGETT and MONICA walk out into a beautiful, flowing field. A huge sign nearby reads 'Hyrule Field')

MONICA. This must be Hyrule Field.

DOGGETT. (thick sarcasm) Really? How'd you figure that one out?

MONICA. (points to the sign) See it?

DOGGETT. (looks at her strangely, thick sarcasm again) I never would've if you hadn't pointed it out!

MONICA. See, I'm good for something! (pause) You know, there's something else I'm good for Very good, so I've been told.

DOGGETT. (sick expression) Oh Christ!

MONICA. (as DOGGETT turns around and vomits) What? What did I do?

DOGGETT. (stands up, wipes his mouth, flicks his hands to the side disgustedly) Anyway, where do we go now?

MONICA. (points to a beautiful castle over to their right) There! I've always wanted to be a princess!

DOGGETT. (gives her a VERY strange look) Eh heh let's try somewhere else first.

MONICA. (pouting) All right, where?

DOGGETT. (points to a large stone circular wall in the center of the field) Let's try over there!

MONICA. (grumbles as she follows behind him) I bet they don't have princesses

(They head up to the wall, MONICA pouting and trailing behind DOGGETT. They reach the entrance, and DOGGETT reads from a sign next to the stone arch out loud.)

DOGGETT. (reading from the sign) Lon Lon Ranch.

MONICA. (still pouting) I can read.

DOGGETT. Oh, really? I'm surprised.

MONICA. Hey!

DOGGETT. I thought princesses didn't have to read.

MONICA. (face darkens even more) Shut up.

DOGGETT. (grinning) Come on. 

(They walk through the arch, and up to the ranch. There is a farmhouse with a barn, and a barn. Down a short stretch, there is an opening into a field, where horses graze in a fenced-in area. DOGGETT and MONICA head over there, to find a girl, MALON, who is wearing the same outfit as MONICA)

MALON. What? Who are you?

MONICA. Agents Rheas and Doggett, FBI.

MALON. (confused) Say what?

DOGGETT. (glares at MONICA) Ignore her. Have you seen a man and a woman?

MONICA. Woman has red hair, man has a big nose.

MALON. (nods) Yeah, Mr. Big Nose. But I'll only tell you where if you tell me something

MONICA. What if we don't want to know where?

DOGGETT. Shut up. What do you want to know?

MALON. Have you seen a blond-haired young man in a green tunic? He seems to be missing It frightens me.

MONICA. (twirls her finger against her temple to indicate insanity) Tunic. Ri-ght.

DOGGETT. (glares again) No, we haven't.

MALON. Than I haven't seen the redhead and the big nose.

MONICA. It's impossible to miss!

DOGGETT. Whoa, whoa, you just said you saw them!

MALON. I was uh, lying! Yeah, that's it!

MONICA. It's a felony to lie to the FBI.

MALON. Huh?

DOGGETT. (calmly) Tell us or we'll blow your head off.

MALON. Uh-uh.

MONICA. And we'll fry your cows!

MALON. Ah! No! I'll talk! They went to the forest!!!

DOGGETT. And how do we know it's true?

MALON. It is!

MONICA. Yeah, right. And how will we get there?

MALON. Take a horse!

DOGGETT. I don't think that's what she meant

MONICA. Yes it is! Come on, let's get the horses! I've always wanted to ride!

DOGGETT. Horses?

MONICA. Yeah, them too.

DOGGETT. (turns around and vomits again, this time on MALON) Sorry.

MALON. Aiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!! (starts to cry) Just take the stupid horses and tell me if you see my boyfriend!

MONICA. Horses (walks over to the horses)

DOGGETT. Yeah, sure, whatever. (follows MONICA)

MALON. (sits down and cries) Wahhhhh

MONICA. (jumps up on a horse) Awwww nice horse. (to DOGGETT) Do you know how to ride a horse?

DOGGETT. No. (gets up onto the horse and falls off immediately) Damnit (gets back on, falls back off) 

MONICA. Obviously.

DOGGETT. Yearrrrghhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm cursed!

MONICA. (looks at him wearily) Just get on the horse

(DOGGETT makes it onto the horse without falling off, and he and MONICA head out on horses, leaving MALON crying)


	5. Scene 5

SCENE 5

_A/N: Hrm, look, I remembered that I was posting this... Whoo continuing on._

(DOGGETT and MONICA are riding the horses across Hyrule Field)

MONICA. (riding the horse naturally) I love this!

DOGGETT. (let's just say he's trying to stay on his horse) Wish I could say that

MONICA. Aww whassa matter? Can't ride the little horse?

DOGGETT. Naw. Could ya get your attendants to come and teach me?

MONICA. (face turns red) Shut up.

DOGGETT. Uh-huh. So where exactly are we going?

MONICA. I don't know. The castle?

DOGGETT. (rolls his eyes) Let me rephrase that which way is the forest?

MONICA. How should I know? (points towards a large tree with a small sign beside it) There?

(they ride over and read the sign, which has the words Kokiri Forest' printed on it)

DOGGETT. I'll be damned You were right!

MONICA. (proudly) Told ya!

DOGGETT. Yeah, great job (they ride over to a large log that appears to be an entrance)

MONICA. Now what? The horses won't go through.

DOGGETT. We get off. (looks at her with a ' expression)

MONICA. Oh okay. (dismounts easily)

DOGGETT. (looks at the ground nervously) So, uh, how do you get down?

MONICA. (grins) Just jump off. I'll catch you!

DOGGETT. (falls off the horse) Aw damn

MONICA. (shrugs) I guess that works

DOGGETT. (stands up with a grimace) Stupid horse.

MONICA. It's not the horse's fault!

DOGGETT. Yeah, yeah C'mon. 

(DOGGETT and MONICA walk through the log, across a small bridge, and through another log. They enter a small village that consists of houses in tree trunks and little people in green clothing with fairies. The sign nearby read Kokiri Village')

DOGGETT. What the hell?

MONICA. Ohhh look at the fairies! I've always wanted a fairy! (dashes towards the nearest FAIRY, ignoring the KID who is standing by the FAIRY)

DOGGETT. (watches her, amused) Insanity

MONICA. I love fairies! (She reaches out to grab the FAIRY. Meanwhile, DOGGETT's expression declare that he doesn't want to know what sort of fairies MONICA loves, or why.)

FAIRY. Hey!

MONICA. Oooooooooooo!!! A talking fairy! (grabs the FAIRY by the wing and pulls it toward her)

BOY. Leave my fairy alone!

MONICA. My fairy!

FAIRY. Hey!

BOY. (angrily) Give me my fairy!

MONICA. It's not your fairy! (holds the FAIRY against her)

FAIRY. Hey!

(A small crowd of kids in green clothing has gathered around MONICA, the BOY, and the FAIRY)

GIRL. Leave his fairy alone!

FAIRY 2. Yeah!

MONICA. I was just telling him that it's mine! A simple mistake! (hugs the FAIRY more tightly)

FAIRY. Hey!

BOY. You're squishing my fairy!

BOY 2. Stop squishing his fairy!

FAIRY 2. Yeah!

GIRL. You shouldn't squish the fairy!

FAIRY 2. Yeah!

MONICA. I'm not squishing it! See? It's fine! (lets go of the FAIRY)

FAIRY. (dropping to the ground, in a dead tired voice) Hey

MONICA. Uh-oh (picks up the FAIRY)

BOY. You killed my fairy!

MONICA. It's still alive! See? (holds out the FAIRY in her hand)

GIRL. That's not alive!

MONICA. Eh, sure sure it is.

DOGGETT. (yelling out) Hey, Princess, are you taking the fairy back to your castle?

MONICA. Argh!

(The Kokiri kids begin to close in on MONICA)

BOY. You killed my fairy!

BOY 2. You killed his fairy!

FAIRY 2. Yeah!

GIRL. You'll pay!

DOGGETT. Heh heh

(MONICA screams, but before the kids can get at her, an arrow splits the air above her head. BOY, BOY 2, FAIRY 2, and GIRL run off)

MONICA. (glares at DOGGETT, who is still grinning) Thanks, JOHN. 

DOGGETT. No problem whatsoever. Really.

MONICA. (waves him off) But, uh, what happened?

(As she says this, a man jumps off from the tree behind them, landing near MONICA. It is FOX MULDER, dressed in a green tunic, brown boots, brown gloves, and a green hat, a la Link. A sword, shield, and quiver lay on his back, and he is shoving a bow over his shoulder.)

MULDER. Agent Doggett, Agent Rheas?

DOGGETT. (surprised expression on is face) Mulder?

MULDER. Didn't expect to see me here?

DOGGETT. (shakes his head) Didn't expect to see you in a, uh, tunic.

MULDER. Oh. (strikes a modeling pose) You like it?

DOGGETT. Ehh (takes a step backward) yeah.

MONICA. (beams at MULDER) You saved me! They were going to kill me!

MULDER. Yeah they're violent little kids

MONICA. I noticed.

MULDER. But it's okay. Hey, c'mon, I'll take you to where Scully and myself are staying.

MONICA. Okay!

(MULDER leads MONICA and DOGGETT towards a tree)

MULDER. We've been trying to get out, but the devices don't work.

DOGGETT. (reaches for his own cell-phone looking object) Does it look like this?

MULDER. (stops and nods) Yeah yeah, that's it!

DOGGETT. What's wrong?

MULDER. We can't get back.

DOGGETT. Neither of them?

MULDER. Nope.

DOGGETT. Christ

MULDER. Yeah, that's about what I was thinking.

MONICA. Uh-oh what if ours doesn't work.

(DOGGETT and MULDER look at her, than shrug)

DOGGETT. So, how do you work this?

MULDER. There's only one button. Press it.

MONICA. How stupid are you, John?

DOGGETT. Yearggggggghhhh! I'm cursed!

MONICA. (backs away slightly) Okay

MULDER. (gives DOGGETT a strange look) Dare I ask?

DOGGETT. It shuts her up.

MULDER. That's always good to know.

DOGGETT. (pushes the button several times) Shit.

MONICA. Heh heh Shit is a funny word. (DOGGETT looks at her, then shakes his head in disbelief.)

MULDER. Why am I getting the feeling that Kersh finally got what he wanted?

MONICA. (venturing weakly) Because we're stuck here?

DOGGETT. How ever did you figure that out?

MONICA. (slightly brighter) Because I'm smart!

(DOGGETT and MULDER exchange another glance)

DOGGETT. So, uh, now what?

MULDER. Now we try to find another way to get outta here. (he starts forward again, and the other two follow)


	6. Scene 6

SCENE 6

_A/N: Thanks to everyone who's read this, especially to nic, Arcane, Legacy, and MoonGoddess25. I'll read your stuffs when I find time... Stupid time. Anyway. Never believe anyone who tells you that randomness isn't fun; it is._

(KERSH'S office. KERSH is sitting at his desk, staring across at SKINNER)

SKINNER. Tell me where Scully is!

KERSH. I know you're very concerned, but

SKINNER. Tell me! 

KERSH. I'm afraid that's impossible.

SKINNER. Tell me or I'll cram it down your mouth!

KERSH. I don't believe that. You're saving it for her.

SKINNER. Tell me!

KERSH. Assistant director, I don't think this is the place for yelling. Not at me.

SKINNER. (becoming frantic) Too bad! Tell me where she is! (starts shaking his hands from the wrists)

KERSH. Do you really want to know?

SKINNER. Yessss!

KERSH. Well all right. She's been sent on a suicidal mission in another world. She can't get back. I left her there. Her, Mulder, Doggett, Rheas. They're all stranded.

SKINNER. (gapes) You are pure evil!

KERSH. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha! What are you gonna do about it?

SKINNER. I'm going to go after them!

KERSH. (startled) What?

SKINNER. (repeats himself slowly) I'm going after them but mostly her. I don't care about the others. I need her back. Do you understand?

KERSH. (grinning broadly) Oh, of course I do. I suppose that can be arranged.

SKINNER. (rubbing his hands together) It won't be long now

KERSH. That's right.

SKINNER. When?

KERSH. (picks up the phone, dials, and speaks into it) I'm sending another subject for the journey.

SCIENTIST. (on phone) All right. I'll be ready.

KERSH. (sets the phone down) Get over there.

SKINNER. Yes sir! (runs out the door)

KERSH. (watches SKINNER leave) I never liked him anyway. Mwahahahahahahaha!


	7. Scene 8 minus 1

SCENE 7 Scene 8-1

_A/N: Thanks much again. :D Bwee hee hee. And nic, fu nthing about the whole Doctor Evil deal... *shuts up* Anyway. We shall see, ne? Thanks again... Reviews make me feel special, lol. ;) And I'll try to loo kthrough what yiu guys have written... Forgive me if it takes a while, as evil teacehrs seem to enjoy assigning incredibly long essays to read for every class. Whoo-fuckin'-whoo. _

_Wheeeeeeeeeeeee._

_And the number *shudder* seven is evil. Therefore this shall henceforth be know as Scene 8-1. Thankoo._

(The parking lot of the FBI headquarters. ALEX KRYCEK, dressed in black jeans, dark shirt, and a black jacket, steps out of a black car, looking around. He moves away from the car a little ways, and BILLY MILES, dressed in blue jeans and a gray hooded sweatshirt, gets out of the car from the passenger's side. There are two suspicious bumps on the back of his neck yeah hybridization! Both head over to a door, entering into the hallways of the Bureau. Several people milling about look at them, some agents, some simply employees)

EMPLOYEE. Excuse me, can I help you?

KRYCEK. No.

EMPLOYEE. Are you sure? Because I don't think you're in the right place

KRYCEK. We're in the right place.

(BILLY simply stares straight forward.)

EMPLOYEE. No, you aren't.

KRYCEK. (Punches the employee in the face) Yes, I am.

(A couple agents draw their guns)

KRYCEK. Damn. I gotta stop being so rash

(BILLY glances at him, then starts walking forward.)

FBI AGENT1. Hands up! I'll shoot!

KRYCEK. (points to a sign that reads do not use guns in hallway) Uh-uh-uh.

FBI AGENT1. (drops gun and looks completely confused) Now what? (begins to wring his hands together)

FBI AGENT2. Get em!

(Several people start towards KRYCEK, who starts after BILLY. They run down the hallway)

KRYCEK. (He sees the door marked Lab' and runs in. BILLY follows, then slams the door behind himself) Heh.

BILLY. Close call. 

(The SCIENTIST is standing beside three black boxes. SKINNER is closing the door of one, and the other's door is open)

SCIENTIST. Who are you?

KRYCEK. Aw shit (looks around quickly)

SKINNER. (shuts the door, not seeing KRYCEK) Hurry up and get me there! I need Scully! Need her now! I mean, seriously, I got this thing

KRYCEK. (makes a strange face) I didn't just hear that, right?

SCIENTIST. (shrugs) It's all he's been talking about.

KRYCEK. Do you know where Agent Mulder is?

BILLY. Former Agent Mulder.

SCIENTIST. Actually, it's former former Agent.

BILLY and KRYCEK. Right

SCIENTIST. Well, former former Agent Mulder is in that box. Or, he was. Now he's in another world!

KRYCEK. Okay then can we go?

SCIENTIST. Why is no one shocked by this?

KRYCEK. You'd be surprised.

SCIENTIST. Huh?

BILLY. If you only knew (Rubs the back of his neck absently)

KRYCEK. Never mind. So can we go?

SCIENTIST. I guess. Just step into that box. (points to the second and third boxes)

KRYCEK. (walks into the second box and closes the door) Do you know where he'd be?

SCIENTIST. Uh-uh. Sorry.

BILLY. Doesn't matter. We'll find them. (He steps into the third box.)

SKINNER. (from box, still not noticing BILLY or KRYCEK) When're we going to go?

SCIENTIST. Now!

(SCIENTIST pushes the red button, and there's the flash of light. The boxes are gone.)


End file.
